A Note To My Maternal Grandmother, Joan Trotman

My maternal Grandma passed away on January 1st, 2019 at the age of 91 years old. She was my last living Grandmother.

I was lucky enough to have 4 Grandparents in my life, all the way up until my first Grandfather passed away when I was 27. I will cherish the years I had with my Grandparents, especially these last few with my Grandma Joan.

I am just about to enter into my 7th month of pregnancy. My Grandma passed away just a few months short of getting to meet her first Great Granddaughter (she had 4 Great Grandsons who’s he knew and cherished dearly!)

I had the opportunity to share with my Grandma before she passed that her Great Granddaughter would have her name. There is no doubt in my mind there is some connection between my baby girl and my Grandma. The presence I have felt from my Grandma Joan in the last month is overwhelmingly strong. Maybe it’s just her and my baby girl hanging out together.

Whatever the lessons are, they will continue to unfold as one cycle comes to an end, and another cycle begins. Knowing that my Grandma is watching over us will always make me smile.

Here is a letter I wrote to her a couple weeks after she passed away. It is by no means a forever goodbye. It simply marks the end of a physical relationship as we knew it for 35.5 years. Our spiritual relationship will continue to evolve…

“Dear Grandma,

In processing your life, and death, over the past 3 weeks I know one thing is for certain: There is nothing in this world that is more powerful than a Grandmothers Love.

Having you close to my heart and an active participant in my life for 35 amazing years is something I will hold dear to me for the rest of my life.

You helped shape me into the woman I am today, and I have no doubt you will continue to show up for me in my life, and in my daughters life, in countless ways moving forward. Having your legacy and your memories to hold onto give me the strength and confidence I will need in the months to come as I continue transitioning into my new role as Mother.

I knew having you in my life for this long was special, but the depth of that started to sink in as I thought about coming back to Merrill knowing your physical presence wouldn’t be here this time. After all, you and Mom always gave me the best homecomings! You’d be waiting at the door in anticipation for my arrival, with a big hug, a hot meal, and all the time in the world to catch up. Love and attention like that only come from those who care for you on the deepest level and I can’t tell you how much those memories have meant to me over the years.

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that’s exactly the homecoming you received when you decided to transition on. And even with all the much-deserved love and attention YOU must have received leaving this world, I know you selflessly shared some of that love with those of us still on Earth because I have felt your presence strongly in the last few weeks.

There are endless things I admire and respect you for. One of the most important ones to me however, was your passion and gift of expressing yourself in writing. You were the Queen of Cards - thank you cards, catching-up cards, cards just to let you know you’re thinking of me, and my all-time favorite - the “I’m worried about you” cards.

Getting your letters in the mail when you just knew I needed a little guidance and support was timeless. I have a hug box of them that I continue to pull from when your wisdom is needed. It’s my own personal Grandma Joan’s Tarot Deck!

In these letters you shared your honest, blunt, and and concerning advice, often accompanied by personal accounts of how you faced the same obstacles in your life. These written letters were gold to me - I heard and respected every word you said and they backed me so much in turning any challenge into a victory for personal growth.

Those same humbling letters always held a paragraph in closing, (or 2 or 3), re-assuring me that no matter how many steps forward or backward I needed to take to get to where I was capable of going, that I already had your 100% love and approval no matter what. You always gave me permission to be Hollis, even when I was being stubborn and felt stuck. You somehow knew how to gently guide me in the direction of finding that successful outcome.

I also want to share a few of the little things that I will continue to pull from as life goes on without you…

Strawberries and Cream Instant Oatmeal will always be my favorite comfort food. It’s what you fixed for me all growing up and it still has a warm Grandmothers Love nostalgia.

I promise to use the word “piddle” in reference to “peeing” as much as possible, if for no other reason than for my own personal amusement. I don’t know why, but every time you said that word - which was often - it always made me LOL.

I also promise to teach my children what a BM is, and will remind thaem that having one everyday is a benchmark for good health! I don’t think a day went by in 35 years that you neglected to ask me about my digestive function!

I will never take it personally when someone hangs up the phone on me without saying goodbye. That also made me giggle, that when you were done talking you just hung up the phone. You had said what you needed to say, heard what you needed to hear, and onto the next order of business for the day.

And lastly, it was evident that patience was your strong suite. (Just ask anyone who knew Grandpa Bob!). I have plenty of these funny memories of your interactions in dealing so graciously with Grandpa (probably not so funny on your end), to remind me that patience is necessary - in marriage, parenting, Grand-parenting, business, and so forth. You’ll be my constant reminder that there is ALWAYS room for growth in this arena.

in closing Grandma, I know that this is far from any kind of “goodbye”.

This is simply a closure to the relationship we had fro 35 years and a beginning to our new relationship that will last for the rest of my living years.

I will miss calling you and having the warm homecomings I was so used to, but in exchange for these creature comforts, I get something even better… I get you as a Guardian Angel. My heart, and my soul, are more comforted by knowing this than any phone call or could ever be.

I look forward to seeing signs of you touching down in our lives from here on out! Thank you for everything Grandma. I love you so much.

Hollis

Blue Moon Rising: January 31st, 2018

HAPPY FULL MOON GODDESSES 🌕

January 2018 brought some heavy "no BS" energy with it.

Relationships in mass quantities were challenged.

Deep, authentic, self-honesty was demanded, which required many of us to truly look at, and see ourselves for the first time.

Confrontations popped up out of the blue.

Perceptions were shattered.

This felt raw and unbearable at times (and if you're still feeling like this - I want you to know that it's simply a part of the process and it will come to pass)

I honor you for your willingness and courage to walk this path.

It's not always easy to accept responsibility and claim your truth.

Honesty and claiming responsibility however, is the quickest way to transformation.

Let go of blame, shame, and victimhood. These are the walls that separate you from knowing WHO YOU ARE.

When you connect with that precious Light in you, all fear will drop away and you will only know Truth.

This is a deepest form of Love that we all are seeking, whether conscious or not.

AHO
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I'm Hollis Elizabeth. I am an online spiritual weight loss coach, currently living in Baja, Mexico. Join me for your FREE Weight Loss NOW coaching call where you will learn:

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2 Practices To Help You Lose Weight & Love Your Body

I help women lose weight. The majority of my clients have struggled with being overweight for the majority of their lives, so by the time I meet them they have developed a lot of negative self-talk and shame around their body. They also doubt and have a huge mistrust with their bodies and their ability to lose weight. When I ask what they think of their bodies, these are the response I get: "I hate my body", "I'm just so fat I can't stand it", "I try not to look at it for too long in the mirror". This last response came from a woman who laughed out loud at her comment, thinking I would too. She had been using herself and her body to joke about for years as a way to hide her shame.

I used to think this way about my body too. I would shame myself for every flaw. I developed a shopping addiction in my early 20's because I was never satisfied with how I looked in my clothes, so I just keep buying more. I shamed and shamed until I finally woke up to the fact that if I did not become friends with my body, She was not going to respond to anything positive I wanted for and from Her. So I started changing the dialogue, and, I started getting beautiful and rapidly-responsive results from my body! When I started loving myself, and my body, it became WAY easier to eat healthy, nutritious food. It became WAY easier to workout, and in fact, my energy dramatically increased when I started to love myself more!

Shame and judgement are heavy emotions. They literally keep you stuck and overweight. If you are constantly thinking thoughts like "I am so fat", and "I hate the way I look in these jeans", you are constantly going to be swimming upstream girl! And you will likely struggle to shed the pounds until you start to shine a bright light on the dark shadow and heavy energy of that negative self-talk. You've got to start to turn it around. Our thoughts, when thought for long enough, become our belief systems. When we develop a belief that we will always be "fat", "ugly", and "overweight", this is the reality that you create. 

Self-love and self-acceptance are the FOUNDATION for being able to lose weight. Loving yourself, and improving your self-esteem literally lightens your energy. This translates to your body that it is okay to be lighter. Positive loving thoughts are lighter and flow easily, whereas negative, oppressive/judgmental thoughts have a heaviness and are stagnant. 

Change your thoughts. In time these different thoughts will change your belief system. And changing your belief system from "I'm fat and I'll never be able to lose weight" to "I'm beautiful and I am enough, just the way I am" is THE KEY to losing weight - fast! When you fix the foundational, core-wounds that keep you overweight, you also allow your results to last. So if you desire to lose weight, and keep it off, get started by changing your thoughts and negative belief system with these 2 practices:

1. Magical Mirror-Work

This practice only takes 1 minute per day. Enjoy quick weight loss results when done everyday! Honestly, the more you do this practice, the quicker you will start to see the positive, lighter results it will bring.

To do this practice, stand in front of a full-length mirror, either naked or clothed. Look at yourself in the eye and tall yourself "I love you". Start with this simple phrase, and repeat it for a minute (or more) every single morning. If this is uncomfortable for you, don't judge it. Just do it. The objective is to do this until you begin to believe it. You will know when this happens. Your lips will turn upwards into a smile when you say this to yourself. You will feel nourished and supported, as if you were being hugged by a friend or receiving an award at work.  

An advanced magical mirror-work practice would be to lengthen the phrase with reasons WHY you love yourself. "I love you because _________." I recommend doing the simple practice for at least a week before moving onto the advanced practice. Get used to giving love to, and receiving love from, you.

2. "Back To Being A Baby" Body Love Practice

I recommend doing this practice following meditation or a relaxing yoga class. You will be more receptive in your relaxed state to enjoy the deeply soothing benefits of this practice. I call it "back to being a baby" body love practice because the objective is to do this practice from an innocent, curious, non-judgmental state of being.

While sitting down on your yoga mat or chair, look at your hands in front of you. Look at them with curiosity. Begin to think of all of the things your hands allow you to do. Think of the wonder, the magnificence, the perfection of your hands! Look at them like a baby does, as if this were the first time seeing and noticing them! Touch them. Feel them. Do things with them, like touch other parts of your body, your yoga mat, the floor next to you. Adore your hands and appreciate them for all that they are, and all that they can do.

Close your practice by saying this out loud, or silently in your mind 3 times: "thank you hands, for all that you allow me to do".

Repeat this practice three times per week (or more), and use a different body part each time. Cycle back through each body part when you've done them all. Shed light and appreciation, awe and wonder, onto each unique part of your body over and over again until you begin to truly feel the benefits. You will notice that being in your body becomes more comfortable. You will notice that you are happy and curious about many more things than just your body parts. 

The more uncomfortable these practices are, the more they will benefit you. Remember - do not judge yourself if you feel completely uncomfortable doing this the first few (or more) times. Just keep doing it. They are short, and oh so valuable. This is learning to love yourself, and for many women I work with they are learning to truly love themselves for the first time as an adult woman.

We were all born as pure love, and as life goes on we start to accumulate many stories that tell us we are not "worth it", or we "don't deserve it". These are the most damaging limiting beliefs that exist and serve to corrode our ability to make progress in achieving what we want from our bodies. Do these practices often and enjoy the rapid weight loss benefits!

2 Things That Help Bring Me Back Into Flow

Flow is this precious state of presence that we all have access to 24/7.

Being in flow is effortlessly co-creating with The Universe. Being in flow is feeling fully connected to yourself and the people around you in a loving and compassionate way. Being in flow is knowing you are exactly where you need to be and seeing the lessons in every experience, without judgment or feeling the need to question it. Being in flow is worry-less, stress-less, energizing, and abundant. Being in flow is being free from the "should've, could've, and would've" words.

As conditioned humans, with so many "things to do", it is no easy task staying in the flow. The majority of us are experiencing brief moments of it throughout the day, but are quickly distracted and return to the state of mild-to-moderate dis-ease that we experience when we are not in flow.

There are some days when I notice myself feeling the familiar "off feeling" and I can hop back into flow with just a simple breathing exercise, or a single thought. But truthfully, most days I am required to do a lot more than think a happy thought to get back into flow. And there are many days that I simply can't seem to stay in it.

It's this blissful state of flow however, that because I have experienced it and have consciously recognized it enough times, keeps me inspired to continue seeking ways to return to flow more easily. Flow keeps me in awe of the possibilities of who and what I am capable of being in this world. The more often I practice using my tools and make a conscious effort to return to flow, the more I learn about myself and the deeper my connection to Source Energy is. 

I have a lot of tools in my toolbox, but there are 2 practices that I turn to consistently to help bring me back into flow. When I take the time to stop whatever I am doing when I am feeling out of flow, and surrender to one or both of these practices, I experience great relief from the feeling of dis-ease caused by being out of flow. Sometimes I can return to flow and remain there for a while, and sometimes I just get a glimpse of it before my monkey mind takes over again and I see myself judging and manipulating my circumstances in an effort to "force" my way into flow again.

But it's worth it for me either way, because even if I don't get to stay in flow all day long, the little moments of bliss that is flow keep me reminded that I am on the right track, that the universe has my back, and that the more I let go of my limiting beliefs and "blocks" around the way I think things "should" be, the more I grow closer to my purpose and place in the world.

1. Silent Meditation and/or Meditative Movement

Taking time to sit in silence or do a guided meditation is precious time well-spent. Turning inward is truly intelligent, as that is where ALL the answers lie. I know it's counterintuitive to the majority of us. We are accustomed to "making things happen". But when you can stop for a moment and take time to listen, you slow your conditioning down enough that your nervous system registers this call to action and remembers what it's like to be connected. 

I encourage morning meditation as a ritual. Most of us are experiencing our longest moments of being in the flow when we are sleeping because our minds are quiet and allowing us to be fully connected and co-creating with the energies of the universe. So meditating first thing when you wake up gives your conscious mind a chance to do the same, and with less resistance.

When you notice yourself out of flow during the day, bring yourself back to meditation as a reminder to slow your mind down, put a halt on the pressures you are feeling to "do, do, do", and remind yourself that life doesn't have to feel that "hard".

HERE is a guided meditation I recorded that you can use to help get back into flow.

I also recommend doing meditative movement as a way to get back into flow. Things like walking, jogging, biking, and swimming are great when you are experiencing anxiety and worry. The repetitive movement can be calming and you will also produce healthy neurotransmitters that will give your brain a re-boot of "flow" chemicals!

Yoga is another amazing exercise to help bring you back into flow. Really surrender yourself to your mat and your practice. Be willing to experience all the feelings of discomfort and resistance while committing to surrendering yourself and your body to the poses. Focusing on the body can often bring us back into flow because we take our focus off of whatever we are worrying about that is keeping us out of flow.

2. Pen-To-Paper Journaling

The act of writing has transcendental powers. It is something I am consistently resistant to, but once I get into flow with my pen, the answers start to come out of me that I need to hear. The physical act of writing and slowing down our thoughts to the speed of our pen is calming to the mind and re-directs our fast-pace to something relieving and calming.

Most people ask me, "but what do I write?". Here are a few ideas to get your started. Honestly, simply the act of writing is therapeutic in itself, so you could start start with writing "My name is _____ and I wish to be in flow." over and over and over again.

Here are some additional prompts:

1. Write a gratitude list. 

2. Describe the situation you are having. Next write the ideal results you would like to achieve or experience instead of what you are experiencing. Then end with a prayer to The Universe that you would like direction in the way of getting there.

3. Name your feelings. What are you feeling right now? Where in your body are you feeling it? Write about what it is like to experience these feelings. End with a prayer to The Universe asking for relief from these feelings and for help getting back into flow.