I help women lose weight. The majority of my clients have struggled with being overweight for the majority of their lives, so by the time I meet them they have developed a lot of negative self-talk and shame around their body. They also doubt and have a huge mistrust with their bodies and their ability to lose weight. When I ask what they think of their bodies, these are the response I get: "I hate my body", "I'm just so fat I can't stand it", "I try not to look at it for too long in the mirror". This last response came from a woman who laughed out loud at her comment, thinking I would too. She had been using herself and her body to joke about for years as a way to hide her shame.
I used to think this way about my body too. I would shame myself for every flaw. I developed a shopping addiction in my early 20's because I was never satisfied with how I looked in my clothes, so I just keep buying more. I shamed and shamed until I finally woke up to the fact that if I did not become friends with my body, She was not going to respond to anything positive I wanted for and from Her. So I started changing the dialogue, and, I started getting beautiful and rapidly-responsive results from my body! When I started loving myself, and my body, it became WAY easier to eat healthy, nutritious food. It became WAY easier to workout, and in fact, my energy dramatically increased when I started to love myself more!
Shame and judgement are heavy emotions. They literally keep you stuck and overweight. If you are constantly thinking thoughts like "I am so fat", and "I hate the way I look in these jeans", you are constantly going to be swimming upstream girl! And you will likely struggle to shed the pounds until you start to shine a bright light on the dark shadow and heavy energy of that negative self-talk. You've got to start to turn it around. Our thoughts, when thought for long enough, become our belief systems. When we develop a belief that we will always be "fat", "ugly", and "overweight", this is the reality that you create.
Self-love and self-acceptance are the FOUNDATION for being able to lose weight. Loving yourself, and improving your self-esteem literally lightens your energy. This translates to your body that it is okay to be lighter. Positive loving thoughts are lighter and flow easily, whereas negative, oppressive/judgmental thoughts have a heaviness and are stagnant.
Change your thoughts. In time these different thoughts will change your belief system. And changing your belief system from "I'm fat and I'll never be able to lose weight" to "I'm beautiful and I am enough, just the way I am" is THE KEY to losing weight - fast! When you fix the foundational, core-wounds that keep you overweight, you also allow your results to last. So if you desire to lose weight, and keep it off, get started by changing your thoughts and negative belief system with these 2 practices:
1. Magical Mirror-Work
This practice only takes 1 minute per day. Enjoy quick weight loss results when done everyday! Honestly, the more you do this practice, the quicker you will start to see the positive, lighter results it will bring.
To do this practice, stand in front of a full-length mirror, either naked or clothed. Look at yourself in the eye and tall yourself "I love you". Start with this simple phrase, and repeat it for a minute (or more) every single morning. If this is uncomfortable for you, don't judge it. Just do it. The objective is to do this until you begin to believe it. You will know when this happens. Your lips will turn upwards into a smile when you say this to yourself. You will feel nourished and supported, as if you were being hugged by a friend or receiving an award at work.
An advanced magical mirror-work practice would be to lengthen the phrase with reasons WHY you love yourself. "I love you because _________." I recommend doing the simple practice for at least a week before moving onto the advanced practice. Get used to giving love to, and receiving love from, you.
2. "Back To Being A Baby" Body Love Practice
I recommend doing this practice following meditation or a relaxing yoga class. You will be more receptive in your relaxed state to enjoy the deeply soothing benefits of this practice. I call it "back to being a baby" body love practice because the objective is to do this practice from an innocent, curious, non-judgmental state of being.
While sitting down on your yoga mat or chair, look at your hands in front of you. Look at them with curiosity. Begin to think of all of the things your hands allow you to do. Think of the wonder, the magnificence, the perfection of your hands! Look at them like a baby does, as if this were the first time seeing and noticing them! Touch them. Feel them. Do things with them, like touch other parts of your body, your yoga mat, the floor next to you. Adore your hands and appreciate them for all that they are, and all that they can do.
Close your practice by saying this out loud, or silently in your mind 3 times: "thank you hands, for all that you allow me to do".
Repeat this practice three times per week (or more), and use a different body part each time. Cycle back through each body part when you've done them all. Shed light and appreciation, awe and wonder, onto each unique part of your body over and over again until you begin to truly feel the benefits. You will notice that being in your body becomes more comfortable. You will notice that you are happy and curious about many more things than just your body parts.
The more uncomfortable these practices are, the more they will benefit you. Remember - do not judge yourself if you feel completely uncomfortable doing this the first few (or more) times. Just keep doing it. They are short, and oh so valuable. This is learning to love yourself, and for many women I work with they are learning to truly love themselves for the first time as an adult woman.
We were all born as pure love, and as life goes on we start to accumulate many stories that tell us we are not "worth it", or we "don't deserve it". These are the most damaging limiting beliefs that exist and serve to corrode our ability to make progress in achieving what we want from our bodies. Do these practices often and enjoy the rapid weight loss benefits!